I Always Knew
by Breaking my nonexsitent heart
Summary: She had been waiting for this night, planning and dreaming...but she knew what was most likely going to happen, she had always really known. One-sided Roxas/Namine


She played this moment over and over in her mind. After days of shopping for the perfect dress, talking with her friends about how she should wear her hair, and how this evening would absolutely perfect, she was about to kiss him for the first time.

Suddenly she realized she couldn't. It wasn't right, she pulled away ashamed.

"Huh?" The blond young man before her, the dream of her heart, blinked confused when the kiss was denied. "Namenie`, what's the matter?" He was so tender with her words, so affectionate with her name.

Namenie bit her lip and averted her pale blue eyes; in her heart she had always known this:

"You don't love me, not the way I love you." She whispered, she hadn't the will to make it come out any louder.

"Nonsense, you know how much you mean to me." He held her hands in his own, so gentle as if he would break her with a touch.

"And that's why I know, Roxas. I know how much I mean to you, how much you care for me. As a dear friend."

Roxas stroked her pale cheek as if the action could speak for him, but she moved out of his reach. Roxas' deep blue eyes clouded over with pain. He pushed back Namenie`'s pale blond hair from her eyes, the rest of the shoulder length gold pulled up in an elegant, yet messy bun. She never looked more beautiful.

"Please, Roxas." She begged, holding back the tears that threatened to break her. "I know, I do. But don't lie to me, I could never bare that. I'm not the one you love."

Roxas let his hand fall, he knew she was right. He wanted to love _her_, he did. But want is what made it unlove, you can't force love, he made it sister love without meaning. She was like his sister, always had been, he couldn't change that.

"I'm sorry, Namenie`." He lowered his head.

Namenie` snapped her head up and smiled at him, it almost looked genuine, it could have been. If he was happy, he knew, she would be happy. _That's_ what love was all about.

"It's alright, Rox, I knew for quite some time. I always thought...And tonight I finally realized."

A healthy pink played across Roxas' cheeks and the bridge of his nose as he looked in to her knowing eyes, she knew alright, who he loved.

"It's _him_ isn't it?" Namenie` smiled softly of the thought of the red headed boy Roxas spent so much time with, it almost sounded amused really.

The glow in his face grew ever brighter as he looked down in his lap where his hands nervously twitched and fiddled with the hem of Namenie`'s white couch they were seated upon in her house. He nodded; not hiding the truth, there was no point when she knew him too well.

"I-I didn't mean-" Namenie` placed a hand on his thigh to quiet him.

"You don't need to apologize, you love him, you couldn't help it." She said, giving him a reassuring squeeze.

"Yea." He breathed.

"Does he know?"

"Of course not, I was much to busy trying to love you." His azure eyes widened at his own words, he almost kicked himself. "I'm sor-"

Namenie` placed a slender finger to his lips and shook her head.

"I said it was alright, Roxas, you have to stop feeling so bad. I've had my heart broken before." Though it never hurt like this, she thought, but it'll never be this bad again. "I'll be just fine, to see you smile, that's what I truly want to see."

Roxas pulled back, Namenie`'s hand fell back into her lap. He sighed lightly, knowing he could never apologize enough nor would she let him. So he smiled at her, for her.

"Now that that's settled." Namenie` said, clapping her hands together, positively beaming. Roxas wondered if she now enjoyed this now it was out in the open. "I think you should tell him!" Oh yes, enjoying it.

Roxas squirmed in his seat a little. "I don't know how to, he's my best friend of 10 years, I couldn't bare it if he didn't return the feelings. It would like I was throwing away all those years away."

Namenie` nodded. "That is the usual problem when falling for best friends." She said, her eyes set to the side in thought. "I could find out for you, without making any bit obvious." Namenie` suggested, giving Roxas a reassuring smile.

He didn't' return one, he couldn't. "No. Its better I don't even act on it, it's not safe either way."

Namenie` wrinkled his nose. "Oh, Roxas. You're so negative; you've got to think more positive. What if she likes you too?" She smiled softly.

"Then I would have noticed, he's not very subtle." Roxas sighed burring his face in his hands, running his hand through his naturally spiky hair, making it spike further and more unkempt then before after he removed them. He looked over at Namenie`, she was giving him a look of concern and gave her a weak smile. "I'll think it over, okay? But now...I just want to go home."

Namenie` smiled understanding. "Alright!" She jumped to her feet; she was surprised how she went from longing for this boy, to hurting over him, to wanting him to confess to her rival for his love.

Roxas stood and they moved to the front door, opened it and turned to hug her. Trying to express his feelings to her through it.

"Bye Namenie`, see you later." He whispered.

"Of course." She pulled back smiling softly. And as Roxas turned to leave. "Hey Rox," He turned to her. "Remember, I'm your love fairy now, I'm gonna make sure you always smile."

Roxas couldn't help but smile at her, waving good bye. A good night after all, better then he thought. He was glad it turned out this way.


End file.
